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How Alienating a Child Against a Parent Can Impact Child Custody

 Posted on March 30,2021 in Child Custody & Allocation of Parental Responsibility

St. Charles family law attorney child custody

One of the greatest challenges that parents face during divorce and child custody battle is keeping their feelings under control and not discussing their feelings about the other parent in front of their children. Children are smarter and more intuitive than we often give them credit for. Even a young toddler still learning to speak can sense the hostility that is being directed toward a parent when the other is talking about them behind their back. Multiple studies have shown that alienating a parent has life-long implications for children, with the potential to cause low self-esteem, self-hatred, depression, substance abuse, lack of trust, and more. The following are a few tips to follow if you are involved in a child custody battle. For more details that may apply to your particular situation, an experienced family attorney can assist you.

Posting Online

It is important to remember that the other party can and will use everything to their advantage. This means that if you post negative comments, send threatening emails or texts, or come off as the bitter, angry party, it will be used to your disadvantage. Keeping a calm demeanor is both important inside the courtroom, as well as outside.

Coaching Your Child

Telling your child what to say to a court-appointed guardian ad litem, counselor, or any other individual involved in your case is not only unethical, it is likely to fail. Children are poor liars, and it will quickly become apparent that you told them what to say. The court frowns heavily upon this and sees it as a reason why being in your care is potentially not in the child’s best interests.

Poor Parenting Decisions

Now is the time that you need to show the family court judge overseeing your case that you are a responsible, caring, and thoughtful parent. Making poor parenting choices at this time can seriously harm your chances of winning your custody case. Examples include:

·       Leaving your young child at home by him or herself, even if it is just for a 20-minute trip to the grocery store.

·       Complaining about or harming the reputation of the other parent to your child.

·       Getting drunk or using drugs while you are caring for your child.

·       Using foul language in front of your child.

·       Taking the child or children away from the other parent (or home) without permission.

·       Overly punishing your child for misbehaving.

·       Allowing your child to watch inappropriate movies or use inappropriate social media/websites.

·       Allowing your child, under your supervision, to participate in unnecessarily dangerous or risky behavior.

Call a St. Charles Family Lawyer at Once

These seemingly minor mistakes can make their way back to the other side and will no doubt be greatly exaggerated in the courtroom, even if the mistake that you made was a one-time error or it may have seemed like it was not a big deal at the time. Conversely, if you discover that your child’s other parent is engaging in these behaviors, it is imperative that you inform your attorney right away. To learn more, contact Weiler & Associates, Inc. to schedule a confidential consultation with a seasoned Kane County child custody attorney. Call our office today at 630-331-9110.


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